I CAN CHANGE THE WORLD !!

"speed had never kill anyone.. suddenly becoming stationary- that's what gets you."

i wonder.. what a little person like me.. capable off... can i shake the world? to do that.. i think
i need to borrow some superhuman powers.. anyway.. think think think think.. that's what i do most of the time.. and for that.. some might get me wrong thought thought thought.. that
i'm kinda cold.. or full of anger or just becoming retarded.. i am wierd.. and.. usually what wierd people have face before.. is a stare where the eyebrow going up 90degress..or not in horizontal
position as it normally does.. wheeeeee... i deserve it.. and to look at people doing it.. is kinda fun..

for years and years and years.. i kinda attracted to something that is.. full of mysteries... yet still
maintain the cuteness behind the fear they have cause among people around them.. misunderstood.. get picked on.. hidden strength.. hidden happiness.. something like.. maye that's
why.. i found japanese horror filem.. or anything based on a story of ghost.. that's is so..
secrecy.. like sadako in the ring.. alma in fear.. nobuta a.k.a nobuko in nobuta-wo-produce..
they're all kinda.. full of shade...

i really like it.. there's even sometime that i imagine of a girl.. at my class.. who just transfered here.. sit next to me.. anyone don't want to be her friend.. because she look like a ghost in the ring trilogy.. or just like a spirit who bring bad luck and death... something like that.. and i'm the
only person who realize.. that girl is kinda cute actually if she.. have  a little or a proper haristyle and touch up.. hehee.. the greatest thing of all is.. when you can see this deep feeling.. this dark image.. actually become happi.. honestly they smile.. honestly they just be happy.. laugh..
that's the best thing.. when you can see such change.. from dark to joy..

anyway.. i found that kind of girl is really attractive.. honestly i do.. heeeeeeeheeeeeee
since i was a kid i wish for that... but no need to rush for it anyway.. cause i know there's a time where everything that i wish will come true.. there's always a room for it to be real.. as real me and you..

the thing really matter is.. wether you believe it or not.

and i believe.............
no matter how small i am.. i canchange the world.. i can made the world.. where i fit in...
LIFE... is on it's way back... soon.. yeeepiee

And When I Read It Back...

"now that you find me
 you.. in my heart"

Today... i peek outside.. it's bright.. a sunshine day.. it make me smile.. a little..
sure nature have a way to relief bad things that happen..
life ain't perfect.. but it is still.. amusing.

i have red my previous post.. and i find it silly.. anyway.. i have fun reading it.. haha.
than i notice the traits.. the post.. is always something about life..i hope you notice
it too. hey hey.. this is not a promotion or an advertisement to urge you to read my post. hehe

i have class now.. but.. guess what..i stay in my room.. i think.. what's the point of going
to class  but you didn't got any input from it.. it's wasting your time..
that's why i tend to escape classes.. but there's always a reason where i couldn't
wake up early, or just feel a little bit lazy makes me skip class. hehe..
am i a bad person? i think i'm not.. i'm just naughty little boy :P

so what do you think of going to class where don't get the benefit from it? i think
because we need to meet a 100% attendance.. that's why we go.. owh ya..
i don't like to be bound by the rule..
i don't like it.. but if there's a practicality.. i guess.. i'll follow only if i see
there's the need for doing it.. and i hate restriction..

last sunday.. i took an IQ test.. and.. it makes me happy.. i don't mean to brag..
i know there's a lot of you out there who score higher than me.. i know..
anyway i love to shout it anyway..
"i score 161 in iq test!!" .. that's make me.. a nobel prizes genius..wheeeeee.. but.. 
IQ doesn't guarantee you a 
success..

Here what i think about the difference between talanted and ordinary.. talanted..
they need less time to master  a skill.. ordianary.. they need extra time to do the
same thing.. if talented person
is lack of practise.. the ordinary people will for sure become more skillful than the talanted person.. so.. it's still depend on ourself.. practise makes perfect..

i couldn't wait to get my license.. but i'm sucks in riding a bike.. driving a motorcyle.. i never drive one anyway.. so i got a little bit scared.. i don't want to fail.. fail means more money..
more money is.. a burden to the family.. so it's no good.

"all alone
 i've waited for
 now that i found you
 you
 teardrops in my eyes
look at the sun
don't let the rain falls down
to you"

I wish.. next year will be a okay.. next semester gonna be marvelous.. i just hope that..
for now.. i wish for more adventure in mylife.. a lot of happy memories.. more happening..
life is short..to waste it on doing nothing is.. silly i guess.. that's how i feel.. sometime.. since
i don't get the chance to do what i like the most.. venture the world.. money always
the problem
and.. health

i'm not an healthy person.. with this young age i have high blood pressure..
and that's no good..
and i easily get migrain or headache.. unfortunate me.. but i guess it's nothing
to worry about..
i just feel great at least to see the world .. although our world is not so..
peaceful anymore..
war seems to be endless.. polution.. coruption.. bad people.. greed.. fight..
false love... random sex.. discirmination.. racist... WTF all of this.. hurm..
maybe the world itself almost end.. it's not a happy ending after all.

"i don't do anything to you.. because that's is how i love you.. if you don't notice it.. that's not my fault.. "

what i think about love relationship is.. something like this.. people's feeling is not a toy..
sex is not for fun.. it won't be marvelous if there's no deep feeling,
no responsibilty, no love involved..
i think girl deserve freedom.. not to be hurt.. not to be played.. not to be kick,
hit, smack.. not to be kill.. sold.. they are human just like us.. need care, 
love, respect, privacy, life...
i don't know why..i just think that.. when it come to sex.. do it after you get married.. haha.. 
maybe i just afraid..
where there's no girl out there is virign anymore.. and what i get is left over.. 
sound rude eih.
sorry.. anyway.. it's seems fine.. but.. sex is like drug.. you can get addicted..
so it's dangerous too..
pitty to those who seeks entertainment but not the real love itself.. 
no comitment.. it's only for fun.. hurm..come to just think that.. 
like dignity lost it value long time ago..  

enough chit-chat.. it's only opinion.. don't get too emosional on it.. hehe. there it is.. and when i read it back.. it just make me smile..
thank you.. hope you'll have a pleasant happy day!!

not always is always...

"she cry a little
 imagine things that soon
 soon be gone
 open up your heart
 and you'll find
 up above the sky
 way back low
hold that madness
a lie
a hope
a pain
deep inside
cause i love you
 don't be discourage"

Don't be discourage... quote from nice stupid playground.. entitled discourage.. nice song as it always be.. but i don't get the full song.. i don't have the chnace to listen to it untill th end..
since the song i got here is not complete.. not finish yet...

i love to hear.. to listen others problem.. not that.. because i good at making them feeling better.. or that i master in problem solving.. just.. i love to know.. maybe i'm a person.. that cross others
privacy in term of by busybody-ing.. well.. atleast.. i think that.. having people aroung you to listen what troubles you atmost.. is kinda soothing the wound inside.. make you feel better

some say.. "youth.. is.. life where.. there's always trouble... where people always clumsy.. where..
you wnat to know who you really are... where there's love.. where there's adventure... where there's fun.. where there's sadness.. madness... anger... misery.. and LONELY" how far is it true?
how far? depend on the life of individu.. we can say that.. what is always happen to you is not really always happen to others... and what is not always happen usually does happen to others in many times.. so what can i say from this.. not always is always as alyas is not always..

we can bluff about our probs.. but.. the fact.. others face greater challenge than us.. we cursed our life.. but there are others who suffer more but they still don't know when to give up.. then here come some people who look at the sky above and ask.. is life fair? i guess.. wether life is fair
or not.. it's your detemination.. it's your responsibility..to make it fair or not.. after thousand times of trying.. not getting any doesn't mean it's a sign for you to quit.. 

i don't know why am i writing this.. as my main objective is to write something that could make
people happy.. but.. i think i got it out of line.. not in the same track anymore... i admit it..
i only wrote what i like.. thats make me a perosn who don't care wether his article is read by anyone or not.. as long he keep writing that should be just fine.. although sometime i wish
there is someone who'll come to give a little comment.. hehe

well that's for tonight... "not always is always" think about it.. before you sleep..
have a great day.. don't forget to smile :)

Boring week... bored me.. bored me

"would you be mine
 watching you go
 every little thing u say
 questioning my though"

"it's gonna be okay?"

bored bored bored!!!! a.r.g.h.h.  e.e.ee.e.e.e.e ... hurm.. yesterday i had a test... thermo it was.. well.. i compose this post.. again.. without any sense in my mind.. so if you found this post is a bluff.. it is...  i just wrote everything that go through my mind.. so... i dunno.. how this post ending.. hehe.. don't blame for that.. it's a natural way in writing bluff stuff... sigh.. who want to read this anyway.. hehe.

i really want to play soulstorm right now.. another expansion from warhammer universe.. 40k dawn of war: soulstorm ... to those who never heard about it.. this game.. is the game you should
spend your money on...

previous day ago.. my lecturer had ask me to write articles.. 3 of them.. from my previous speech.. she will publish it in the zine... she said.. it's a good thing actually ..but.. come to think about it.. it gonna get me busy..  anyway that's probably my oppurtinity to earn extra money.. hehehe.. or just spice up the talent..

anyway.. this week is sadly... a boring week.. i'm still waiting for some miracle that will bring me extra excitement.. days of excitement.. i hope.. i pray.. i wish... it'll come soon.. huhu

is there a very cool movie to watch? i don't find any of the movie.. fun to watch.. i really miss
the lord of the rings trilogy.. it's still the best movie i ever watch.. got a very beautiful view..
the storyline.. the world.. the universe.. is just stunning.. i still wait for a movie which can meet that kind of level.. up untill now.. the answer still no..

"and if you believe
 everything's change
 all that really matter
 is that
 you're happy"

hey.. anyone believe what our mind can do.. what our subconcious mind capable of.. i still don't get it.. anyway..  there's some little test that suggest.. subconcious mind is kinda powerful.
i'm not lying.. it is true.. but.. the facts is.. it not gonna give you instant telekinesis.. or.. lavitation
even teleportation.. it just gonna give you everything you desire.. as long as it logic.. haha

anyway anyhow...  i dunno why i  love to wrote "haha" .. anyone got a clue? hurm... why?
during this writing... i try my best not to wrote"haha" .. still.. there's like an instinct that told me to wrote that word..  haha.. haha.. haha.. why haha? mystery it is i guess....

"ordinary day.. ordinary day
 little by little.... "

i love unique things.. i need to shout about.. to let everyone know.. haha.. i love extraordinary things..
i don't like something ordinary and usual.. i love to see something different
i love something wierd.. i love originality... i love anything that is not set on other basis..
it just develope on its own.. naturally.. originally.. wierd but still a perfect beauty..
haha..

"wierd is original, different is a wonder, unusual is style, unique is life"

how much different, how much unique.. not untill you loose your original identity.. i guess what make us unique is because we are who we are.. not a copy of other person.. not a symbol of a cultus.. just a person that's us.. hehe

For today...

lalalala..

love is like falling rain..
are you happy?
coz you..
no one love you in dark calling hour..
everything's cold today......


F.Y.I

i just wake up from my deep slumber and head on straight from bed to desk.. from desk to this..

F.Y.I

i don't have any idea on what to write about.. anyway.. i just hope it will flow right about this time..
hurm...not yet.... hurm... is it coming or not? hurmm.... forget it.. no idea..

For today... i got a simple question to ask... are you happy today? if you happy clap your hand.. clap clap clap.. silly song eih..that's ain't the way to show how you feel..

for this week... i can summarize.. my life.. roll down again... so it's a welcome back to a lousy.. boring.. life.. huhu..

i've enjoy watching starcraft 2 trailer.. and gameplay preview.. makes me craving it.. so much.. but still... is my laptop capable on playing such game.. huhu.. i wish.. i can play that.. that's all.. what i want now.. hurm.. among what i wat now.. there's still many thing i wanted that much..

sometime i wish i could be a pirate... own a ship.. go find treasure... a good pirate.. have a great adventure.. scavange the land of treasure.. sailing to 7 seas... fight monsters.. see incridible creatures... meet a unbelieveable civilization... do things i dream to do.. be happy all the time.. being challenge.. saving people..

thinking baout it.. my teachers say... after i ask her.. "teacher teacher... what type of person i am?" .. she simply answer.. "you gonna conquer the world.. that's what you want" .. eeeekk.. that reminds me of.. star wars..haha.. may the force be with you my young apperntice.. hehe.. than when it come to that.. it split my thought am i a good person or a bad person.. but .. i'm what i'm.. and i want be a pirate.. live a thousand adventures of his life..

what is the best happen to me? nothing.. i don't get it what about this sem.. i mean.. this semester got many things going on yet.. not interesting.. thermo test will be on this tuesday.. eventually next week.. huhu.. i don't have enough time to rest i guess.. still not finish playing lego star wars.. i guess.. if playing game in a sad mode.. will cause even a game of the year.. is just an ordinary game.. huhu.. sigh~ i'm bored

i'm watiting for my all-time favourite game... warhammer and fear.. include this weeks.. it's about a month i search for the game.. still no news...

maybe this month is a bad day for me.. maybe i will go on with a smile on my face.. a sigh from my heart.. it's a boring life.. there's only this moment where i thing.. life isn't perfect but.. it's also not amusing.. i need to travel a lot.. see what others see.. in their point of view.. maybe that gonna give a little spice to mylife..

when it come to writing.. i think i'm not a good writer at all.. i wish someday... i can produce a blog... or a book.. that's is so good.. it's in same level as harry potter is.. i wish.. to have a creative mind.. a talent to compose such story.. i envy it so much.. although i never read the book.. anywhere.. if the book can produce such good movie.. and it's always hit the market and end the sell as the best selling.. that's soemthing you should scream "WOooooOOOOWWW!!"

all alone i've waited for
now that i found you..
teardrops in my eyes

i'll be your friend
for all this years
now that you found me
you in my heart

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. lovely song from nice stupid playground...
that's all for today.. and what 's for tomorrow? any one wanna go out with me? let's go

If you would only give me time......

Forever will be.....
Forever will be......

i can't forget you......

forever will be....

it's not closing time...
it's not too late...
don't close your eyes..

if you would only give me time
i wouldn't change a thing
how i feel about you..
but i wont forget you..
honestly i picture you..

i wish i could see your time stand still
time stand still
don't close your eyes...

sad and sweet....... don't give me the credit.. i quotted it.. and alter some of the lyric.. and i think.. it nice.. sad and sweet. it's from nice stupid playground... title: if all else fails .. you should listen to it.. so... sweeeeet

writing this sentence... verse.. might put me into other world where they call it.. "the realm of romance" oppositely.. my words are sweet.. but reality is.. i'm such a wimp.. when it come to relationship.. especially yah u know.. girls. face to face.. you'll probably wanna kick me.. cos i am boring to chat with.. hahah virtually.. another world..

let say.. FS .. yah.. i admit it.. most of the friends are girl.. dat's the fact.. but i don't have any love-love honey-babe relationship with any of em.. they also have their own relationship to care about.. i'm just a virtual friend.. only a small percentage that i have chat with, either face to face or ym. hehee.. so still.. virtual or not.. friends is friends.. if they got problem.. i'll come to help.. even only with a simple message.. because.. i really love to see people happy.. i do... i don't know why.. but i do.. it's okay if you don't believe me. :P

anyway... at certain moment.. i guess i really want the time to stand still.. at certain moment.. i want it to skip frame... days go..years pass... we getting older each breath we took.. maybe.. that's why... some of our best memories.. we want to replay it.. re-live it.. me too.. really miss matrics.... huhu

inspiration.. i think my effective inspiration source...come while i was in the toilet.. it's easy to get everything compile,produce, i guess it's due to ventilation.. it work very well in there.. you let the 'urghhh' out.. than tadaaa.. the idea flow into your brain.. but.. if the 'urghhh' got septic tank smell... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh... run away i go.. for sure.. no idea will flow in to my mind.. than i start to curse people who's "urghhhhh"-ing at the next toilet.. so smelly.... eeeuuuu

this previous weekend... i had what you call... a exciting weekend... not because.. i got something exciting to do.. or exciting people drop by here and say hi... because.. i am busy.. busy busy busy.... hungry hungry.. any way.. this feeling of busy is different.. because.. it's exicting.. haha.. i play with adobe photoshop.. creating vector image of mine.. at FS ...i wonder.. do people notice it.. haha.. well.. i really want to know how people respond.. so if there's any chance you read this.. why not feel free to comment some of my pic there..

what's make it really busy is.. when it come to solidwork.. designing glider is fun.. but also frustrating.. since.. i'm not really good in it.. finally i finish it.. and ready for testing .. wether the glider can fly or not.. wish me luck for that..

upcoming nesw? it's stirling project.. engine engine engine.. a simple yet.. mind bugger.. hurm i'm planing of designing 4 valve stirling engine which can function using only one candle.. the design already set in mind.. but sadly.. our team will go for conventional design.. it's okay because it's easy to figure out when something went wrong.. my unconventional design? i'll do it during this holiday.. 3 month.. i guess it's enough.. haha.. you should remind me..

on top of it all... i learn strumming guitar last week.. it's hard.. it's wonderful.. i have a great teacher.. haha.. i really appreciate his teaching.. thanks GEPENG.. i dunno how i can repay your kindness.. haha thanks teacher.. th elearning.. i'm still not good with it.. but.. i'll not give up.. haha.. my friend sometime joke "stop it.. go to sleep" .. i reply.. "not untill i can perform a concert" .. hahaahaha.. then we both laugh.. friends are great.. hehe.. i look up at the sky.. and say thank god.

todays... it'll end.. life is like beuatiful colorful flowers..
look at the sun.. don't let the rain falls down on you... because.. when it does.. no one can wipe your tears if you cry.. they'll wipe your whole face like you are a little child.. alalalalaa.. heehe.. anyway.. smile in the morning.. is the most beautiful smile of the day. :)

that's all folk
thanks for reading
remeber this: smile owez

anywhere... is no where

(drummmmmm rollssssssss: dudududududududududup)
-curtains up: tapapapapaapapap - applause -
booooooooooooooooooooooo : crowd boos
if lucky enough........ crowd cheers : yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah
unfortunate enough....... u'll saw meteor showers on you.. the pain not on your skin.. but it go reach your heart.
meteor : shuuuuuuuuuuuuu.. pap pap

that's life........

curtain close: some left before they know the end
lights off: tap tap tap one.. by the one... tap tap tap

stage manager: go by the counter see how much did he earn....... not much.. but still it's worth for living
cashier: go home get a good rest.. coz tomorrow is another routine.
stage artist: kneel behind the curtain.. asking himself: "what did i do wrong" .. he look up the sky.. god.. "what did i do wrong?"

crowd: "it's wasting my time" ..they keep walking.. it's late.. tomorrow they need to go to work.

12.00am : ku ku ku ku.. cuckoo clock alarming sound.. it's late.

dat's the story.. dat's life.. since i was a little boy... i keep asking myself.. is this life.. how do i look like when i grew up.. for that time.. is easy to imagine that someday.. someday.. in mylife.. i can be a hero..
well.. since the influence of superhero from 360degree.. wether it's the TV... comic.. friends.. heroes are everywhere.. on this side it's ultraman, we have gaban, power rangers, sailormoon??, mask riders.. goku.. it's a fantasy world.. still a lovely one to remember.

hurm.. after 21 calendar been fold up.. throw in the trash can.. nothing much in different.. maybe the hero more realistic.. still i wanna be a hero.. hahaha... and also an adventurer.. i dunno how about you but that's what i think.. and what i want.. haha

hey it's funny... if i found a girl and she's lovely.. than suddenly the film in my head ran just.. perfectly perfect.. there's always a scene.. where.. that girl.. okay there is a very fast car on the road..maybe it got the gas pedal stuck or just going crazy.. this cute girl.. is about to cross the road.. well she's going to the class and it's late.. she rush.. the car.. the horn "peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet" the brakes " screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech" .. and now here i come.. tadaaaa.. just about second.. or less.. i jump .. grab her.. hold her close.. direct to the other side of the road.. slightly before the car hit her.. tadaaaa.. then there start the dramatic scene.. haha.. well i end up in the hospital.. she always visit me.. i got a lovely ward where the window.. u can see sunset on the other side.. and sunrise on the others.. we talk we chat.. haha.. we love than.. we got married.. have a twin.. a lovely happy ending..

another version.. change the car.. to the villain.. same ending.. i got hurt for saving her then.. end up in the hospital.. got a lovely ward.. heal .. love.. married... family.. happy ending.. haha.. you got the point there..

living.. is always about up and down.. am i right? i think so.. once you're up.. you'll smile wide.. or atleast.. if your face can't do that.. atleast your heart feel kind of relief.. once you're down..it's hell lose.. can't blame you for that.. my journey always follow by question.. "do people like me? am i good? am i bad? can i be love.. should i be love? how can i own that millions of money? how can i have everything that i want? am i a good believer.. why can i perform as other perform? am i lazy? why? well dat type of question lingers.. why?how?why?how? "

my life... up untill now.. is just fine.. lucky me i guess.. but before this.. i have telling myself.. it's good to be dead than go on living.. seriously.. i had that kind of attitude before..i don't like to be push around.. or if people don't understand certain matter.. but they talk like they fully understand it.. then advice me on it.. although i'm the one who experience the pain.. they just say like they feel it.. an the advice they gave just ain't right.. aint suit th eplace..at the end.. i'll say "i better be dead.. coz you don't understand anything"..before this i don't like my self.. especially my appearance.. it's make easy to get jealous.. since.. around me.. my friends easy to get girlfriends.. a good looking one.. but.. exception for me.. i can't.. hahaa.. so it's quite disturbing.. come to think about it.. it's my fault i guess hehe

but.. now.. i guess... looks aint major at all.. because.. through my survey.. haha..hell like i conduct one.. but i love to analyzed people.. see how they go on living.. that's why when they smile.. i'll smile too and.. thank god i say.. they're happy.. hehe.. maybe that's make human lovely.. so some people may find out that i'm silly because my smile can suddenly appear.. haha.. and the smile is honest from my heart... most of the time.. heeeehe

owh yah.. look and appereance oo.. well.. come to that.. if i hang out with my buddy.. if there's a couple .. the scenario is this.. the girl .. she's perfect.. like a fairy... and the boy.. urghhhhhh.. yah u knw the words.. they just.. ain't match at all.. so.. the mouth begin to.. talk.. badddd... haha.. and the conclusion.. the girl should be our date not him.. but.. that's the way it is.. love not belong to the face i guess.. but it's belong to the heart.. so come to that.. i found out.. "love is not about seeking for a perfect person.. but.. how to see imperfect person.. perfect" sweet eyh.. haha

hurm education... when i think about my parent... then i got myself daydreaming.. something.. like this.. how should i educate my child? haha.. since i'm small.. yah.. i got distinguish from others because of my intelligent i guess..my mom say i can read early in my age.. i can draw early in my age.. before i enter kindergarten.. hurm.. i got creative mind.. well i'm sorry that it sound like i'm bragging.. some say i am genius.. maybe that's my advantages.. but hey.. if there's is an advantages.. there's always disadvantages.. that's god's formula to keep the world is balance and all human are equal.. what's make different is.. how they work for theirself..

aldo i have a good grade since the first day at school.. doesn't mean i have my life yummy all the time.. nope.. the higher you are standing the higher the pressure.. the wider the gap between you and people around you.. you also put pressure around people.. so it's not easy when you're always on the top.. because... you'll your best cry.. i've seen it.. and it's hurt.. even your family.. if you become the benchmark.. it's natural for you to be compared with others.. and they put high expectation on you.. the feeling is not great.. i feel sad when ever people say "why i'm not as smart as you? you're smart so you can do this you can do that.." .. i don't want to see people's around me loose their confidence.. it's hurt.. sometime we want acknowldegement.. we want people to knw that we are here.. but.. that acknowledgement can make people around you loose their confidence.. loose their spirit.. dat's hard to see.. it make me feel sad.. i want everyone to be happy.. i want everyone to be a best friend.. just see how life is not always perfect but it still amazing.. amuzing..

for now... i really want to know.. is there anyone outhere.. who can figure my twisted mind.. i really want to knw... is there anyone.. can read my complexity.... is there anyone... like the girl from ouran high school host club.. Haruhi fujioka.. simple.. cares.... she understand... huhuhu.. up untill now.. no one fit the criteria.. or maybe i closed my eyes to someone... yet... anywhere is no where.. because where ever you go.. it's still about you and people around you.. it's just the same.. only the setting are different..

for the future... close my eyes.. it's fun over there.. here we go.. you and me.... not matter what.. it's amazing to go on!!

thanks for reading