Saturday april 19th : evening

since the the day i was born.. i never really taste... or know what freedom really is..
even up untill now.. even till today.. for this recent day...
and to my luck i guess... to my fortune it is... that i heard a story about this unfortunate tiny
little frog...

for a creature which can swim... for a creature who's water is their life... for a creature... like this
trap in a well.. in the bottom of the well.. what do you think it really want? since it love to swim..
and trape in a small area.. filled with water.. i thought.. it love to swim in a large pond..
perhaps.. in.. the lake.. in the river.. where it suppose to live...because.. of the fact we know that..
frog live there.. so it need to be there... back in the river..back in the wetland

but imagine this.. imagine this.. where you grow up.. in the bottom of the well.. since this is a frog..
you don't have a parent.. who can tell you about the river.. the lake.. for the place where you are born.. where you were grown.. live.. you don't even heard about the beautiful lake..
this beautiful river... for that... how can you wish for a living there.. since it's not
something you can look at.. you never look at.. you don't know how to imagine.. because
no one told you about it.. you probably don't know the meaning of the word.. "river" ..
"lake" .... what place does it wanna be at? it's something it can look.. it something..
that it can comprehend.... to it.. to it only.. this is what it think freedom.. or atleast feel..
the place is.. the sky...

imagine growing up in a well.. the only window you have.. is the one above.. the only change you can see.. is the moving cloud.. the flying bird... and a bucket fall down.. almost hit you..
what if this well.. is..an old one..abandon.. where no one is using it anymore? how lonely your life will be.. as all your surrounding are dead as a stone.. what living is the sky above you..



watching the sky each day.. envy of the bird who can fly freely.. as for you.. no matter how.. far
you can jump.. you only bump into the wall.. because you are the one who trap.. it's you
who really understand what freedom really mean.. how it really taste..

looking at the sky everyday from the bottom of the well.. create a desire.. desire to reach the sky.. a wish to touch the sky.. a vision.. a mision.. a path for life.. to seek out freedom..
to live at the world.. where before this.. is only a view from a deep bottom..



now.. it's something.. to become a reality..
for the sky.. it try to go out from the well.. it will have its freedom



and to me.. no matter wether this unlucky frog success or not (honestly i do wish it can go out from the well)... it have a purpose for its life..
i kinda jealous of it.. hehehe.. since i can't comprehend its freedom.. i only know definition of it..
i can't feel the joy if it was free as it feel it itself... as for that... i will find my own freedom.. as for that... i will find my own way... a freedom where i really understand.. a freedom where..  i really know its sweetness..

~future~
a path..
a path it is yours
a path where no one order you to walk on it..
it's a path where you walk because you choose to walk on..
it's a path that's not others make it..
it's a path where you are its creator..
it's something that is not because of you want..
is not because of your need...
it is because of your dream.. and you believe..
it is your happiness...
it is your satisfaction...
it is your freedom..
and for this reason..
isn't reaching this future..
are more meaningful..

monday april 14th

i'm in the middle of installing something now.. it's long-waited game...i never play it before..
and now is the chance.. hail need for speed underground..



anyway.. i just finish warhammer soulstorm campaign.. playing as adepta sororitas... add with some mods.. finishing the game kinda easy.. so.. i guess i'm not playing fair.. anyway.. i love the way i play it..
so.. it's for this self satisfaction only.. next mission.. finish the game as necron..



yeah.. if it come to games... it's clear that.. some might don;t get what i'm just mumbling here..
for that.. please accept my appology as this the only think i can offer to you..

well in this week.. there're a lot of things happen.. but.. i guess my world still move kinda slow..

~things happen~
some of of the test result just ocme out.. some make me smile..
our cafe get serious on hygene now... kinda relief to hear that but.. why take action now..
for all that i remember... it always dirty..
there's a person who.. i guess being upset.. i don't know it's because of me or something else..
but i miss the chat.. missing this and that.. kinda make me.. so not comfortable.. guilty feeling
start to seep in.. i hope she doing just fine..
i still searchig for solidwork 2004 or 2003 installer.... or.. a crack for cosmos 2007.. i know..
i'm using the software illegally... but since getting original one is hard and expensive..
it left me with no option.. haha.


hurm... seems that.. installing this game quite frustrating.. if it goes for second times... there is an error.. so.. i re-intall it.. perhaps... they'll be a okay...
about this perosn i mention before... the condition i'm feeling now.. is so so so.. full of questionaire..
i start to think that.. for sure it's my fault for her to act such way.. shame of me shame of me..

~guilt~
something is not entertaining
for most.. it makes you wonder..
how bad person you are...
sometime it left you thinking
how can we hurt such inocent heart

sunday april 3th : early morning

sleepy... sleepy.. sleepy...
but can't help it.. need to write something first..

once upon a time... (owh how i love to begin every story with this phrase)
i browse the "who's viewed me" section.. and after several clicking here and there.. i end up..
at this page.. it's interesting.. although.. it doesn't give me prize for being there...
but.. it give something ... that.. make my mind.. working again.. glad to read it..
it is.. this..

"life is not about finding yourself..
  life is about creating yourself"

creating ourself.. creating you and me.. isn't it similiar with living in your own way..in
the way you like.. in the way you live... but isn't it how to create yourself first...
you need to know what you really want... to.. be... isn't it? you need to find yourself first..
am i right? think this thing... several.. time... i confuse...

~little fact~
"you will die... i will die... we all will die"

what wait us after that... is life.. is as simple as.. closing a book... it is a simple as
throwing rubbish into the bin... i guess not... it'll be meaningless... if it just stop like that..
if life is an energy... theoritically... it will never end.. since energy.. can only change form..
and not destroy... for this logic... i believe that there's a new chapter of life after death..

i peek... and suddenly.. glare... to my right... there's a empty can of tuna.. with a spoon inside it..
i just eat this chilli tuna... it's hot... but tasty.. i guess... i'm hungry.. very hungry...
eat it with bread... it's kinda... enjoy to eat bread while sirfing the net... i wonder.. if people's do
eat bread while they're surfing the wave...

i just finish my 3rd glider design using solidwork.. it's the reason why i still open my eyes..
anyway it's already finish.. and ready for the analysis... the design inspired by shark..
since they're naturally aerodynamic.. adopting their design into the glider should bring
a good news... i hope so..

~hope~
"did you see a bird hoping for a business class flight...
  chicken hoping to lay a gold egg..
  duck hoping to become a swan...
  if the nature can hope.. what will they hope for?
  maybe.. they hoping for us to stop..
  to stop hurting them...
please stop they will say...
  as for us... is hope...which make us... us..
  a human being..
to forget hope..
is ignoring our existence"
 

i have  an imagination... and this imagination is also my dream.. or just a simple plan...
for the next sem... this holiday.. i'll gonna keep my hair long.. that's what i wish..
change my look a little bit... and i'll say hi to everyone.. more often... hurm..
what will be their reaction? i hope i can do that next sem... hehe.. can't wait..
it's funny when come thinking of it... i have a round face.. which make my head look
larger than everybody... if i cut my hair too short.. it's either i'll look like a monk.. or and E.T
sometime i dream to have a celebrity look... haha.. or atleast.. look more japanese.. hahaha..
maybe i can win someone heart only by my looks.. :P

~Look~
"to be attractive... use an eye-catchy packaging..
  to be useful.... make sure what inside is a high quality..
  if people buy things.. they'll throw away the package..
  but they'll keep what is inside..
  even it is a birthday gift... what inside the box
  matter  the most..
  for that how you look is important..
  but what you are is vital...
  for that reason... no matter how you look
  have a good heart.."

Saturday, April 12th 2008: noon

i envy those who's still in highschool... seems that...t here's a lot of thing that i miss..
that.. i don't have the chnace to do... maybe.. i was so preserved back then... preserved..
remind me of pickles.. i guess my life is like that... pickles... how's life in the bottle?

~pickle~
some luv it.. some h8 it...
but pickle is pickle... no matter what..
either life in the bottle...
either soaked in salt.. in sugar
either hated from people...
either it sometime smell so bad...
to know.. there's still many people who luv em..
they'll continue to exist...
maybe that's the reason for them..
to be here in the world..
for the sake of people who love em..
for that very sake..
life must go on

i envy those who live their life to the fullest... because.. for them.. they just live their life..
and for me... i still don't know what my life heading for.. even for the reason on why i need to success.. is it for a better future.. come to think it again.. is this future will make me happy..
is erning a 5 digit salary will probably make me happy... since i start to notice it..
i wouldn't have time to spent the money...

~salary~
5 digit.. is equal to 5 letters
is 10000 equal to Happy
able to buy everything that you want...
able to use that money as you like..
isn't it'll be a limit that..
no matter how much you spent..
there's still something missing..
there's still something you can't buy..
for all the money that i'll earn..
atleast i will make others happy too..
isn't life worth if everyone can share
the same feeling as you

to think of the working life that i'll experience a couple of years.. from now.. quite bugging me... to have a job... even i'm stuck in the univercity.. where the regulation makes
life restricted.. is very frustrating...  so i cherish matriculation life a lot.. i cherish high school... even though.. is not as happening as yours.. at least that keep my memories from cursing the situation now i'm in... if there's a genie.. perhaps i ask him to grant me one wish..
"turn back time.. let me live once more.. but now.. in my way"

i don't know what my problems are... is it because of twisted personality... or it is.. because..
the environment where i grow up.. i can be positive... but.. my thought of this and that..
neutralized it.. therefore.. i'm become like a lonely wolf howling for a life...

come to think of it.. i miss people.. telling me this and that... i miss compliment.. warning...
i miss... comment... i miss the surrounding respon.. it's only at school life where you get
the most of it... while you grow older... while you're here.. you start to loose all the connection..
is not as close as before.. no matter what.. it seem that you'll walk alone... although
the fact is you're not.. but sometime somehow that's how you'll feel.. and it's not a good
feeling... i hate that feeling the most.. for that.. no matter how often i smile.. it just..
a bored life.. but atleast.. i'm living..

~smile~
how to measure a great smile...
it is is width? 7cm.. 8cm.. 1m
is it a simple gesture...
how frequent should we smile..
every time.. every second..
smile.. it can be everything..
a donation perhaps..
an expression perhaps..
an invation for misunderstanding perhaps..
but to know it is smile..
it's the only gift that i have..
the only way i know..
to show that.. i'm happy..
and you should be happy too..
for that.. i hope i will always smile..
continue smiling.

i'm happy for those who can post something cute in their blog.. cute short sentence..
i can sense.. happiness.. honest.. in their blog.. it is like.. whenever they let it out..
their feeling.. it's like.. that they are happy doing it... a satisfaction guarantee perhaps..
as for i couldn't do that.. as for me.. major population in mylife.. our question..
why this and that.. what should be done.. what should i do.. seem to be.. i lost my sense of aim and destination.

~question~
why do question exist?
why it's not only the answer?
why can't we have the answer without asking question?
if we already have the answer..
why we still questioning it..
if we already know the answer..
why we doubt it?
even when we can answer the question..
is the answer really come  from our heart
or just from what we read..
if it come from what we read..
is that our answer?

this is what's going on in my mind.. no wonder.. if i start writing.. it definitely will be long
and.. discourage people from reading it... but no matter what.. i feel glad to spent my time
writing this... as for me.. i wish there's time where i really can feel how life worth living.. and able to share it with everyone.. how life is wonderful... and able to live with someone.. who can inspire me untill the last breath of mine.. that's greatest wish i have...

6th April 2008:night

how long is it.. untill now.. hurm it's been 21 yrs..
since 1987.. since i was born..

and now.. i'm a univercity student.. but once in univercity.. there's a lot of thing..
that's.. not satisfying me.. i mean.. it always something that.. couldn't cheer me up..
and.. this life.. like.. it's dedicated only.. for study.. every second.. each minute... study..
is this.. life?

i found it wierd.. why parent keep telling us to study? i found it wierd.. that..
if they telling us
to do this.. study..go have a good job.. why i found this request is selfish?
they telling me.. this
keep on study.. for many times.. because it's many times..
i get irritated.. like.. this life, my life..
is devoted to study.. like whenever they're saying.. is not consider how i feel.. 
i want to success
too.. but in my own way.. i'm still waiting for my parent to say.. follow your heart..
you are our son.. we believe in you.. i'm waiting for them to say that.. i'm waiting

likely to be that parent nowadays.. 
don't understand their childs feeling anymore..
when i grow up.. i don't want to be such parent.. 
i don't want parent who discriminate their
child because of the education success and not because the heart of their child..
i want to be a parent who is always by their children's side.. no matter what they do.. 
i want
to support them.. i'll tell them to follow their heart.. i want to be their
inspiration...  
i want them to decide their on future.. success in their own way..

i don't like to make my parent worry.. i hate it.. i don't like it at all.. because if they do so..
it's like that.. they don't trust.. they don't trust that i'm okay.. i can't handle things here..
i can survive..

i have a sister.. a very hardworking one.. lately.. there is a grand exam.. she work hard.. but..
then she didn't score.. i'll pity her.. compare to me.. i never work hard to success..
but because of my success.. i become a pressure to her.. instead of inspiration..
i become a pressure to her... my parent set me as the benchmark..
whenever.. my sister's result will be compare.. compare it to me.. so my sis need to work hard..
to catch up.. and in this exam.. no matter how hard she work.. she didn't score..
she telling me.. "why i'm not as smart as you.. mommy is frust right now.. mommy frust with me.. why i'm not as smart as you.. brother.. why" .. she's crying while saying that..
i don't know what to say... i'm numb.. than i tell her.. what past is past.. once your fall.. is not that
you'll fall forever.. there is time you'll get up again.. just don't give up.. mommy.. why didn't you cheer her up? mom?

but deep inside.. i'm asking myself.. what the point if your intelligence only make people cry?
what the point if you're smart.. you let people around you crumble... having such gift
it hurt my heart.

maybe.. parent are fanatic to see their children success.. but through their point of view..
because of this desire.. they forget that children also have their feeling..
when you put high hope to a person.. it's the heaviest burden.. because.. this hope.. to
them is hope of people they love.. and it's hard to go on... once they've fall..

no matter.. how much success i have.. it never bring me joy.. because is not the thing i really want.. and this success.. it also bring something that i don't like.. for this success..
my parent take it as.. something to be proud for.. for the family name they say..
and to me.. name is not.. a big deal.. how you contributed to yourself.. contribute to society..
that's great.. if you want the name.. don't use others achievement.. use yours..

am i a good son? i'm not i guess.... one thing that make me feel that mylife is meaningful..
is writing blog.. writing this post :)

for my dear sis.. you're strong don't give up..follow your heart.. there's a bright future waiting you there.. hurm.. maybe i'll get you a good big sister.. haha.. but then.. it's not time for me yet to get.. coupled. sorry for that.. hahaa... but i promise you this.. this person of mine..
gonna be the greatest big sister for you.. and this person is waiting for me somewhere.. 

for my dear mom.. trust me.. it's alright.. don't worry.. i can success.. but let it be my way..
please support me.. please believe in me...

for my dear dad... i know even for now.. you stilll don't get a clear picture of my course..
i'm sorry that.. i made you feel down.. there's twice.. where i disobey you.. i reject boarding school.. but dad.. see.. without going there.. i can still success.. and for this course i'm taking now.
is not not a bad thing.. i can give me a bright future.. dad.. let me follow my heart.. pleasee..
support me..

dear family.. my road is not easy.. i do need your support.. don't worry about me.. turst me..
i can success in my own way.. please.. at least let me decide my way.. i couldn't wait to have a great dinner with you all.. but let it be infront of the TV.. hehe.. so things will be much more cheerful that way..

Dear god.. can you watch after my family.. always make them happy.. and.. pleasee
let myfriend live their life to the fullest.. don;t let them regret their life... let my dream come true.. pleaseeeee. thanks for give me a chance to see the world. thanks god. although i am not a good believer.. i believe you are there.. watching us.. thanks..

6ht April 2008: after i eat

after eat.. i dunno i start to feel sad when i'm holding a spoon.. eat..
but this sadness .. there's a feeling that it won't last..

i rush to wrote this because.. i am afraid that i'll forget this....

isn't it hard to watch.. people who suffer.. can still think about others.. although they are the one who need it the most.. isn't it hard to watch.. when there's person.. who.. smiling.. and say.."it's okay..
don't worry".. although they're holding themselve from crying..while they're smile.. you can see tears.. even so.. they still can think about others... isn't it hard.. to watch a person.. that.. is hard to even say a word.. smile and joke with you.. for us.. who can say this and that..
for us to be by her side.. watching she taking the burden herself.. so she won't be a trouble for us.. for the sake of others.. in such incapability..
isn't it hard to watch? it's hard to watch.. what can i do is only shed tears......

whenever i smile.. i smile with my tears running down my cheeks..... compare to me.. how many tears has she shed?it is really amazing she's still smiling. laughing.
it's just amazing.. while facing slow painful death.. she can smile.. make people laugh.. it's just amazing...

none have ever inspired me the most... to keep me writing.. and writing..
thanks... ikuechi aya.. from drama "ichi rittora no namida" .. 1 litre of tears.. thanks to kito aya..
thanks for the inspiration... thank you very much

i have so many question.. in my life.. up untill now  i still don't find the answer.. but everytime i wrote this.. everytime i wrote it down.. no matter i don't get the answer.. i'm relief.. i just feel light..
hurm.. no matter how bad your life is.. cherish it.. okay :)

thanks again.. for 1 litre of tears.. you give the world.. a never ending inspiration..
thank you very much.

6th April 2008:noon

seeing many things truly, really change the way you think eh?
eventhough to someone it's just an entertainment.. but to me.. it is something more..

I wonder... do people think why they can walk? can hold things firm in their hand? before this i really don't care.. i never thought of it... it just seem natural.. less meaningful
i can walk...... i can talk straight... i can see.. i can hear..
why.. why we have such ability.. there's people out there.. who cherish such simple thing where we all keep doing it.. there's a person outhere who wish just to be like us.. to be ordinary.. live life..
just like ordinary people.. to their point of view.. having such little thing.. is a big deal..
but we who possess it.. we never really at least.. be thankful.. 

"Season of snow powder always come
Although we are mixed up with a mass of people
we are looking on the same sky
Blown by the wind, and we are chilled by it"
-quote from Konayuki-song by remioromen

isn't it.. no matter how our life is.. if we look above.. it's the same thing which all the people around world can share.. it is the sky.. no matter how hard you life is.. if you look up the sky
it's still blue.. the cloud still moving in a slow pace.. there's wind blow smoothly..
maybe this is the best time.. to put your hand at your chest.. and feel your heart beating. 
that.. you are alive..

and i wonder.. why there is such person.. were selected to be sick.. to be incureable..
why? please god tell me why? why there are people who born to live in this the world.. only for
a short time... why? why there are people who once life the highest peak on their life..
where there's a lot of dreams, hopes, youth.. and suddenly You assign such fate..
where for them.. there's no future anymore although they always nice to everyone around them? why? what sin have their comitted? Fate is cruel eih.. but we need to accept it anyway..
just i can't help myself to stop asking.. WHY?

We human .. is just too fragile.. even compare to a grass.. i start to ask myself.. who we are too the grass.. who we are to compare to them ? look at the grass.. we step on them..
we cut em.. they still grow.. they still continue their living.. and didn't they live in a large comunity? do they fight? do they kill eachother? do they hurt they neighbour? if they can talk..
what they say to us? what they say to other grass? if there's draught.. they still try hard to live..
untill.. they just die? do they think about suicide? do they envy other grass which live happier
on the otherside.. wha tif they can think? what will they think? we keep telling that.. only stronger will survive.. is the selection of nature.. if that's the point.. is this world suddenly become cruel? is stronger people can bring peace? what i can see today is.. people just become selfish.. greedy.. if nature choose for the stronger people.. i think it made a very bad choice.. if i'm nature.. i will choose for a good people only.. not a stronger person yet.. bad.. that's not gonna guarantee the nature's survival..

To be acknowledge.. is really a desire of everyone.. right? to be notice that you are there..
to be notice by everyone.. you are something.. to proof that you are someone.. special..
or in a higher level compare to others. i think about it a lot.. to be recognize.. to be acknowledge..
by people around me.. sometime it's nice to have such thought.. since we can work hard..
for that goal.. but.. what will happen to people around us? what if.. everyone recognize you..
what ca you do to them? can you make everyone smile? can i make people who know..
cherish their life.. be happy.. can i?

Isn't it great to be able to cry? no matter if you are a male.. i found it.. it's great to be able to cry..
it's a proof i guess that.. we really do have feeling and heart.. right? and now.. i really hate
when people say.. man shouldn't crying.. i hate it.. i hate it more.. if we become the reason for people to cry.. are we proud to make people cry? is there a point of living.. 
where you are the only one who laughing.. but everybody around you always look at the ground..
watering the earth by their tears.. is it okay? is it okay not to cheer them up? is it okay to look at the blue sky alone? i want everybody who look at the blue sky.. to smile..

"It's impossible to live in the same time with no single quarrel
If we can't be honest, happiness and sadness are just meaningless"
-konoyuki by remioromen

lately.. it's become quite hard for me to remember a thing.. number.. name.. hehe.. but it can't stop
me from  thinking.. and i pray to god.. "don't take away the smile of people.. now matter how much pain their have.. please god.. don't take away the smile.. smile is not a face expression.. it's a strength to the one who possess it.. and inspiration to those who see it.. i pray.. please..
god don't take away the smile.. please don't take it away......don't take it away"

for now.. maybe i couldn't do anything much.. this is the only thing i can do for now.. keep on writing.. maybe there's no one gonna read it anyway.. but i dream sometime.. that..
a lot of people reading this.. this blog.. and think about their life.. maybe i couldn't inspire anyone.. because i'm myself need inspiration.. but.. i just hope i can make people at least smile.
smile from their heart.
 
and for that.. i will keep on writing.. and sometime i'm afraid that.. i couldn't write everytihng that i think.. because .. i forget.. and for this writing.. maybe.. this is a proof that i'm living...
thank you everyone

Live it your own way..

Three weeks... three weeks.. only three weeks.. then home sweet home it is.
i don't know for what reason.. my ideas for writing seems to be pending.. but for what reason?
the mysteries.. still hidden somewhere.. or it's because i got dhirea.. there.. instead of letting
the ideas flow into my mind, i scared it away by cursing.

enough about me..  now it's about you
Your sexual adjustment has presented some problems for you. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage. You have a tendency to be critical of yourself. You have a strong need for other people to like you and for them to admire you.
isn't it true?

There always a time when we spend hours infront of a mirror.. keep asking ourself
do i look attractive in this way.. what if i change my hairstyle..what if i apply a little make up
over here.. a little bit over there.. no matter what we do.. at the end.. we failed to look
as good looking as the people who we are envy of. how unfortunate it is, if we been rejected by
people who have our crush on.. we ask ourself.. am i that ugly.. am i deserved to be
treated this way..  that's add up the whole unfortunate event.

What the heck.. is not the end of the world if that's happen.. just keep believing that..
you'll be admired soon.. never give up.. that is the magic word.. but no matter what happen
don't sacrifice your freind for that reason.. cherish them.. remember.. they are the only one
who never reject you.. never say you're ugly..

hehe.. anyway.. i always do silly mistakes.. in writing.. maybe i have a creative mind.. unfortunately.. it was all in the spelling.. hehe.. sorry about it..

i really want to know what life is.. moreover.. i want to make it meanignful.. happy and cheerful.
i feel that.. sometime.. how lonely i am.. i regret some of my past..
sometime i think it is too late.. it's very hard to find a very positive person..
a very optimis person nowadays.. one with a heart.. good heart.. it just hard..
seems that.. this world now crowded with discourage people.. including me.. a people who
don't know how to make their own destiny.

on previous day.. i have decide this..

if life like a money box.. where.. the value of money form the group.. as rm50 assign to rm50,
as rm10 keep in rm10 places... 50cent to 50cent spaces.. how small they world is.. live in the box.. bounded.. shut from the real life...
i rather be a 1cent by the street.. because i can see the world is moving there..
compare to a little box.. they're valuable.. but are they happy? they just.. lonely.. only mix with their own kind.. it's just sad.. i don't want to be like that.. isn't life to be explored?

if there's a person.. come to you.. with a coin.. asking.. which side determine the value?
i guess... you'll say the number printed on it.. then there's also smart people who answered it
like this "it's weight, it's shape, it's shape" .. bold answer.. sigh.. what we really see is only the number..  what if i say.. what make it valuable is how we spent it.. doesn't matter if it's only
a penny.. a nickle.. it's us.. it's us create our own destiny. Money does have a good side
and a bad side.. for certain occation.. if we sell something so we get extra income to help
people... then suddenly what we sell become something phenomenon.. we enjoy because
how much profit we gain.. then.... not long after that.. our sell went down.. we become angry..
we really angry.. because we don't gain the profit.. and not because our first reason which is
to help the person.. see.. how easy.. we change because money.. therefor.. i pray to god..
don't change me.. just make me a good person.. 
but don't change the way i am..  i want to be
a good person in my own way.

it's not the money make us happy.. it's how we gain it.. how we spent it.. make us happy
generally..It isn't what we have, or who wear, or where we are, or what we are doing that make us happy or unhappy. It is what we think about.

hehee.. that's all for today.. thanks for reading.